Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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