she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
