you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
