So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
