Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
