Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
