i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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