Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
