Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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