All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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