Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
