So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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