You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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