I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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