I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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