Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
