Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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