i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
