It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The beer is more important than you right now.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
