just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
