Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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