He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
