Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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