You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
