quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
