I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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