covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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