the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just saw a hot homeless man
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
