i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
