Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You took a bar mat shot.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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