On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
