I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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