I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
