He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
