8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
