another moral hangover. fuck.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
