i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I love you. Go after that dick
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
