after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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