when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
