I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
