I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
