Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
