u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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