Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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