another moral hangover. fuck.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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