Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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