what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
