It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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