There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
