no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
